Monday, February 16, 2009

I heart Demetri Martin. And ninjas.

I just finished watching Demetri Martin. Person.
It made me giggle. I paid homage to that fact by quoting him at the bottom of my blog. I was particularly amused by the following bit:

"I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays."

teehee. Oh, and I finally know which clever person came up with the whole "glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." I didn't know before, but now I do.

Ok, so here is the most important question you will ever have to answer. I understand many have tried to make you ponder this important, life-altering, quandry. I feel sooner or later you are going to have to make a decision. I have, and I believe my reasoning may lay to rest this mind-nibbling issue for good:

Would you rather be a ninja or a pirate?

Now, I have always been pretty adamantly pro-pirate. I mean, come on...they sail, they're constantly surrounded by friends, they get to pillage (who doesn't enjoy a little pillaging?), and they're drunk much of the time.

But, see, here's the thing. There's scurvy, pirate friends tend to mutiny, pillaging is against the law, and if you're drunk all the time, you're not exactly on your best game. A ninja can kill a human being, like, 100 different ways with just his or her hands. They have mad skills, and they are just this side of being invisible. I'm pretty confident a ninja could kick a pirates butt. Plus, they get plenty of exercize, they have all sorts of cool weapons, who doesn't love being sneaky, black is slimming...

I want to be a ninja. Someday...(have I, perhaps, solved that whole "what I want to be when I grow up" issue with which I've been struggling?)


writtenexpressions said...

You know that I too heart Demetri Martin. He has a new show on Comedy Central (Wednesday nights, I believe) that is quite entertaining.

As to the question of pirates vs. ninjas, I don't want to be either. As much as I like rum, I'm not much of a pillager, and the hypochondriac in me would constantly think I had scurvy. I lack the natural grace to be a ninja. I want to be a fairy. Or maybe a leprechaun, and then I could take back the rainbow from the gays.

klfh said...

I'm going with pirate. I'm thinking that Ninja would be way too much work.