How to put off working...by whining to your friends

You know how motivation is fleeting, so you have to have discipline, and building habits helps with that discipline, so when the motivation inevitably fizzles out, you will have those habits to fall back on, making it easier to maintain that discipline and consistency?

Yeah, that.

I thought for sure that doing this hospital thing, where I see a dietitian weekly, meaning I'm accountable to someone, would help me be more disciplined. Obviously, it's not. This is not an exercise thing, either, since, as we all know, weight loss is so very much about the food. I have not been perfect with the exercise, don't get me wrong, but I am so much more likely to go work out for an hour than to eat well all day. I ate well on Sunday! Not terribly on Saturday. Not great the past week or two.

Here's the thing. The dietitians don't care. This is not a knock against them, they are doing their job, they ask questions like, "why do you think you do that," and "what could you be doing that would help you make better choices?" Which are perfectly fine questions, and highlight the very issue here. I am not "slipping up" or " accidentally eating large portions". I know what I'm doing, and I'm consciously eating high calorie treat type food. And I have no idea why, other than, I want to. Which makes me sound like I'm 9. Which apparently is where I am, mentally, when it comes to food. Anyway, yeah, so with this program the way it is, if I was working it, I would be down more than 30 lbs by now, but I haven't been working it at all. I don't much like the stuff, and I don't really like the people I have to see every week. Which is mean, again, they are doing their job, but they just don't seem to care, and we just don't connect. I like the doctor a lot. If I saw her every week, I'd probably do better, but that would cost a lot of money. She does do the dance fitness classes I used to take every week, maybe I should start going to those again, just so I saw her weekly, but that would feel a bit like stalking. I do want to go back to those, but the timing is pretty limited, so I'm not sure when I'll fit it in.

So many excuses. I'm not sure what my magic kick in the ass looks like. I think a support group-like atmosphere, where you get to know people, and we all care about each other's progress, but Weight Watchers was not my thing, and I guess this is a little old fashioned of me, but I need to do it in person, at least once a week. People have been texting me, and it is kind and so attentive, but I want to chat, and I am the worlds....slowest...texter.

Just a break here - I don't know how many Riverdance people we have working in the office overhead, but they walk so heavily! Makes me want to check on their footwear and see if they are all wearing steel-toed workboots. Seems a little over the top for officewear.

Anyway, that's enough whining.

Oh, except my brother and I went to the gym on Saturday, and we did some heavy lifting, including tricep work, which I apparently have not been working very hard. Sunday I was a little sore, but yesterday, starting very very early in the morning, my tris hurt so much! Like, I had to move my head to my hands to wash and brush my hair. Like, could not bend my arms toward me more than 90 degrees. Like woke up in tears at one point. It was stupid ridiculous. Obviously, I overworked them, but holy crapballs, it hurt. Last night, I took some ibuprofen before bed, and this morning I could brush my hair. Still sore, but not Leslie Knope sore.

It's getting so dark so early that I have no energy after work. So last night, I didn't get out of the office until 5, so I skipped the gym. I will have to stop doing that. Or start working out in the morning again. I might try that, but today I have one of the classes for this weight loss program (it's the first behavioral health class I've gotten to attend, and I am rather looking forward to it. Maybe they will have something interesting to say) and won't get home until almost 7, but I skipped yesterday, so I will...sigh...use the treadmill at home.

This was a pretty freaking whiny post. Whining with very little solution presentation. I guess I really just needed to vent a little. I appreciate you all being here to listen. Have a glorious day.

I ran!

Good evening friends.
First, I have to brag on my life - I write about struggling a bit, and all my amazing, wonderful people jump out and are like, "what do you need?" Because I'm a big lucky ducky, that's who I am.

How was your Halloween? I adore Halloween. I love the whole thing - spooky stories, scary movies, dressing up, trick or treaters of any age, and I have a bizarre love for caramel apples, which stores only seem to carry around Halloween, which is a little silly, since they have apples all year. I dressed as Bob Ross this year, which delighted the hell out of my therapist, who I saw that morning. Her primary focus is art therapy, so as soon as I pulled out the wig, she squealed "you're Bob Ross!" That alone was worth the costume. I've been Bob before, but it was by request, and who am I to turn down a costume request. Also, it was easy and didn't cost a dime. Ooh, it was wicked cold by that evening, though. My sister and I sat outside to make trick or treating easier on the kiddles (of whom there were more than I expected,) and then wimped out after an hour. Still a fun day.

Then, Saturday, was my husband and my anniversary. We've been married 23 years, and we really didn't do much - at home date, chill and Amazon Prime (Jack Ryan, excellent show, if you haven't watched it.)

John, please forgive me, I am objectifying you, but wow. That's not Jim Halpert. You're welcome friends.

Went to the gym yesterday, and then again today, and guys. I ran today. Like, on purpose. It was not far, and it was not fast, and it was not long. There is this program "None to Run" , which really suits me much better than the Couch to 5K, because honestly, I am not running 1 minute at a time yet. I may be able to, but I would hate it, and this was 30 seconds, and I can certainly do 30 seconds. I did all the intervals, and I felt good doing it! I will continue this! I also had my shake and my soup, and I need to finish tracking for the day, which was not perfect, but I did drink all the water in the world.

Ok, so doing better, and I'm following along with the Organize Yourself Skinny people with my "choose your own challenge", and one of my challenges is to get back to blogging twice a week. So I'll be here more often. And also all the other things, which I will tell you about later this week, but I have to get moving, so have a good, shiny night!