2017 sucked my big toe. I declare 2018 to be the "Non-sucky Year of Missy!"
Remember how I used to post resolutions every year? Like, I was really into them. The last "goals" post I wrote was 2014, and I started it talking about the previous 7 years of resolution posts, and how I wasn't going to make them that year, because I was not really disappointed with myself. I was in a pretty good mood that year.
The thing is, I don't make resolutions because I'm disappointed with myself. I make them because, honestly, I find them kind of fun to make. I suppose the fact that I am still obese and living in a messy home says I miss the point of "resolving" to do something, but for crap's sake, life is too short to beat yourself up. As I've found this year, too much else is waiting in line to kick the shit out of me; I don't need to wait in that line to take a turn. I just need to be kind to myself. So today I am going to write about my goals for this year, and each one of them are going to be ways I am going to be kind to myself. They are not going to be written out as actionable goals in organized, cohesive steps. They are not going to be written out as measurable goals, with timelines. I am smack dab in the middle of review time for my staff, and I have no desire to double the efforts here.
(continued, several days later. Hey, don't judge me!)
I went to the doctor this morning. I've been sick - the upper resp crap people have had. I've been sick for about three weeks, but it has gotten worse, and I have had no voice for over a week, which is very sad for a chatty sort like me. So, went to the doctor, asked for 'roids, looking forward to feeling better. Which leads me into the rest of the post, as one of the reasons I want to feel better is so I can work out again.
I just read a few blogs over lunch, and three posts I read today from three separate blogs were extremely inspiring.
1. The first was one of my emails from Tammy at Organize Yourself Skinny: it was kind of a tough love, quit the excuses and just do it email. It was a good way to start the day, especially since I was kind of feeling sorry for myself , feeling all sick.
2. The second was the post on weight loss resolutions from Katie at Runs For Cookies: there were several little nuggets of brilliance there, but the two that stuck out to me were "make the single change that has the largest impact." She was a binger, and she knew that was what was holding her back, so she stopped binging - a single, simple change with a huge impact. And she repeated, simple does not mean easy, it's not going to be easy, but it is one, simple change. I know my biggest change will have to be food related - I eat too freaking much. I'm not entirely sure how to boil that down to one simple change. Hopefully I'll figure that out as I write this. The second thing she wrote that inspired me was "Get it over with!" Advice someone else had given her - in the number of years I have had "lose weight" on my resolution list, I could have lost 400 lbs. It's not going to be easy, but I can mark it off my to-do list, start feeling better, and stop stressing about my health if I just do it, for crap's sake.
3. Finally, the Tiny Buddha post from January 4 discusses "How to Thrive When Your Life Feels on Hold." The whole post (like most of them) is pretty fantastic and has a lot of excellent advice. In her case, she is describing the holding pattern she was in when she moved to Canada with her husband, and was waiting for her residency to arrive so she could start her career. It was frustrating, and she felt stuck - until she changed her perspective. But it speaks to the experience of a person who has been unhealthy and unhappy her whole life; that feeling of waiting until you are at the right weight to actually have a life, find a passion, do something fantastic. And, that feeling of waiting until the "right moment" to lose weight - January 1, when the weather is warmer, when you have the money to join the gym you like, etc. I am the perfect example -waiting for the right moment to get healthy, you probably could have lost 400 lbs, run a marathon, written a vegan cookbook in that time. Something will always come up. Which just circles back to "Get it over with."
|This year's bullet journal - the annual calendar section. I included goals for the year in there, including pet more dogs, because that is an excellent goal for the year.|
Sometimes I get down on this whole get healthier thing because I am 42, and half my life is gone, and I should have done this years ago, and what's the point now. So I have adjusted my reasons from "I want to look good and be a good role model to my kids" to "I want to feel good, and be able to do the things I want to do for as long as I want. I don't want to have to rely on others to be able to have fun or have an interesting second half of my life. My brain feels better when my body feels better." That last point may sound rather juvenile, but that doesn't make it any less true.
Gretchen Rubin (the Happiness Project chick) divides resolutions into seven categories, so I will use that as my framework for resolutions this year. Otherwise I tend to go on for months.
1. Eat and drink more healthfully: eat more vegetables, drink more water, eat reasonable portion sizes, plan and prep meals, decrease sugar, most importantly, stay away from the gas station snacks! These are ways I need to improve my eating habits this year. I'm not sure exactly how to divide this up into actionable and reasonable steps, so I will follow my Nerd Fitness Academy and Organize Yourself Skinny framework, and start by logging my food for the next two weeks. That is easy enough, so I'll add in drinking 2 full tumblers of water at work every day.
2. Exercise regularly: I have been adding more movement in - my friend L and I found a kickboxing class we really like, and I want to make sure I get to that at least once a week. That will become more difficult as softball season gets busier, and I will have to add other workouts in. I have my Nerd Fitness workouts I have not been doing, and I can do those from home. Add in walking outside or on the treadmill, and the occasional yoga class, and we have a good start. So, 1 kickboxing workout a week, 1 yoga workout a week (class or online), NF workout 4 times a week before work, walk 5 minutes a day (on purpose) plus walking with a friend or on the treadmill twice a week. Occasional trying classes with friends, going to new gyms, etc bonus. This is all flexible, but the idea is to move a little each day.
3. Save and spend wisely: I have an ugly Amazon habit, I like to buy presents for people, shopping is therapeutic activity for my daughter and me, and I feel like I need more control over my finances. Hence, I will stay off Amazon unless it is for a specific need (the library is a wonderful place), stay away from the morning snack buying, actually look at my expenses and figure out my unnecessary spending. I do a lot of it, and I could save a lot more if I fix that silly spending.
4. Rest, relax, enjoy: I really do want to work on developing a meditation habit. I say this a lot, and this is a good place to put it. Meditation truly helps my anxiety, I will start with 5 minutes every morning. I would also like to take up a productive hobby - crochet? I have done it before, but I need help starting again, as I don't really remember the steps.
5. Stop procrastinating, make consistent progress: Ha! This kind of goes into all of this. But I will add to the not procrastinating the rest of these habits, to update this blog once a week with my progress on all of this. Specifically the health. Be prepared, loving readers, I will inundate you with life updates. You excited yet?
6. Simplify, clear, organize: keep up with my bullet journal. Ooh. That was nice a simple.
7. Engage more deeply -- with other people, with God, with yourself, with the world: Okay, let's add the meditating here again. Also, I want to keep up with my out of town family and friends more regularly (be prepared, Alison J,) and as the weather warms up, I'd like to try to get in a hike here and there. I like outside. I should go there occasionally.
(Does that irritate you as much as it does me? The "okay, so" thing? I have actually heard educated, intelligent scientists on NPR start their every answer in an interview with that phrase. It sounds so reluctant.)
Anyway, this has gone on for a long time, and I will try to break it down more and be more concise with my actionable steps as time goes on, but here is the gist of the 2018 Resolutions of Missy:
1. Eat better
2. Exercise more
3. Spend less
4. Meditate and relearn to crochet
5. Blog weekly on all this
6. Keep up with the bullet journal
7. Keep up with friends and family out of town, meditate, hike
We'll chat more later. Gotta do other productive stuff.