Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The only thing better than drunk dialing...

Is drunk blogging!
How did I not post a Tomten pic this year yet? I hope you all have enjoyed your Christmas thus far. I was kind of a jerk...adopted a tree frog for my frog-loving girl from the National Wildlife Foundation...but also got her a new comforter for her pretty blue room, and she loves it. Boy got lots of Magic stuff. He loves that stuff. Drank a lovely pink moscato, and the effects, they linger. Now I must make nighty night cookies, a recipe my grandma used to make. And they are delightful. Merry Christmas readers!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Good Grief.

I am a total crab-ass right now.  And since you all are my sweethearts, and you just love to hear me whine, I'm going to tell you about it. 

Nothing catastrophic happened today.  Just irritating little issue upon irritating little issue.  For instance, my day started with me sitting on the bed with my legs crossed, waiting for my lallygagging husband to get out of the bathroom so I could pee, and get ready for work.  Then I stuck my left thumb with the syringe while I was giving Bug her shot.  Could not get the Girl out of bed.  Almost forgot to take the trash to the curb, so had to go back and do that.  Almost late for work.  Almost, but not, so that's good.  Some late requests at work (And one was misspelled.  At least one word in every. sentence.  How do you do that?)  Got home to fighting kids.  The Girl was whiny, The Boy was irritating.  The Girl decided at 6:45, when I finally sat down to eat dinner, that she wanted me to study math with her.  And "could you just make me up a practice test?  just 20 questions?"  They're studying probability, so I had to make up stories and diagrams and crap.  Litter boxes need to be changed and I'm out of litter.  All of this is making me very shouty, so every few minutes someone is asking, "why are you yelling?!"  Which then makes me feel very stabby. 

Breathing.  In through the nose...out through the mouth.  That's better. 

Oh well.  Need to go up and do the dishes.  Another Charlie Brown picture is in order today. 

How was your day?

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Some things of which to be proud

I title this post thusly mainly because of one story I really want to tell, and my friend Sarah (holler Sarah!) told me I should write about it here.  I haven't pulled completely out of my pea soup fog, but I'm feeling a bit clearer.  I had a good week at work, I met some really lovely people (A's cousin is a sweetheart), an excellent therapy session on Monday, and this happened last Saturday...

I would like to preface this story with two points: 1.  I realize this would not be a big hairy deal to most people.  2.  I am non-confrontational - to a fault.  It takes a lot for me to open my mouth and speak up, much less to get in someone's face.

The Girl is playing basketball for a good team.  Admittedly, we are rarely on "the good team" so this is kind of a nice change of pace for us.  It is a feeder team for an AAU team, so all the girls are pretty into basketball, and really like to play.  We were up 18-0, and a guy sitting behind us says "This is bullsh*t."  Guy sitting next to me turns around, shoots a dirty look, and turns back.  Guy 1 says something along the lines of "yeah, you can look at me."  Guy 2 "Yeah, I looked at you.  What's the big deal, they're little girls, having fun."  Guy 1 "I don't know how much fun you would have, losing 18-0 every week."  And they start getting in each other's faces, yelling, and the f-word starts being dropped, a lot.  I look behind me at the little boys staring, wide-eyed.  And I stand up, insert myself between the two guys, and yell "sit down and shut up!  There are little kids here!  What is wrong with you!"  Heehee, they looked all chastened and apologized.  Obviously these were not scary gang members or anything, but this was kind of a big step for meek little me.  I felt kind of...empowered...after that.  And the mom of the little boys thanked me.

I am also rather proud of the fact that, despite my rather grinchy attitude as of late, I have been all festive and social on not one, but two occasions this week.  And I was only paid on one of those occasions (and it was still kind of fun, if exhausting.)

I'm not sure what made this week's therapy session so good, exactly, but I have been feeling better - more in control - since.  She gave me a packet from an anxiety workbook to do before our next session, so I even have a concrete assignment to work through.  I'll tell you all more about it when I read it.

So there we are...a little more upbeat this week.  Snuggles and love to you all...

There is something about Snoopy that always puts me in a good mood.  I can't be Grinchy around Snoopy.

Thursday, December 5, 2013


I've been in a foggy place lately.  Outwardly, I am functioning - doing my job, cooking Thanksgiving dinner, even talking and laughing occasionally.  But inside.  I feel like I am trying to swim through something thick and viscous and gray. 

Part of this is the time of year, which makes me feel even worse.  Why does December do this to me?  Not just me, from what I hear.  I love the concept of holiday and cheer and soup and candles and presents...but the reality takes an energy I just don't have.

There are steps I should be taking to make myself feel better.  Things proven, that work.  Things that don't even involve me seeing specialists and getting new meds, which yes, I realize I am overdue on.  Things like exercise, and meditation, and healthy foods, and sleep. 

And tonight, whilst putting off yet another project I should be doing, I read a post by a favorite person I've never met.  And I wanted to share it with any of you who might feel a similar depressive fog.