Friday, May 17, 2013

Movies and mayhem

My peonies are blooming! 

My peonies always remind my of my grandmother.  She grew peonies all through my childhood.  Spring brought peonies and forsythia, which I had growing in my side yard, but killed by mower.  It was an accident, I swear.
Last night I went to see The Great Gatsby.  The movie was visually arresting, as all Baz films are.  It stayed (mostly) true to the book.  Leonardo was brilliant, which pleased me, as I'm not a huge fan.  Toby was not brilliant.  Anyway, there was a lot of music, a lot of modern music, again, as all Baz films include.  But one piece of music played throughout parts of the movie, and something tugged at my nerve endings, reminding me that I knew this music.  I finally realized, just before the end (when they played the song in its entirety, that it was a favorite Gotye song - Heart's A Mess:
To sum up, the movie was better than I expected.  Next up, Star Trek Into Darkness.  Very excited!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Is it spring fever? Or am I just nuts?

 So much craziness.  In more ways than one.  Or 100, really.  Spring is always a rather nutty time around here, both kids have always played baseball, and the Girl started softball this year.  The Boy has been having track practices since February, and baseball practices started last month. 
The Girl's first fast pitch softball team - the Navy Storm.  She's learning to pitch.  She's pretty freaking awesome.
I've been doing therapy weekly...and needing it.  There is so much to process, so many pits of emotion I'm discovering that I wasn't expecting as I do this...and I'm not sure exactly how to write about it yet.  Which is likely why I haven't blogged in so long.  No full-fledged panic attacks in awhile, but the depression has been pretty constant, as well as a general feeling of unease.  My mornings are shaky.  It's hard to do the actual psychological "work" when you're in the moment, though.  I was talking to my therapist the other day and equated it to childbirth - you may do the classes, but when you're in the moment, do you really remember what the stages in the birth canal are?  Maybe you all do, but admittedly, I had forgotten.  Same idea here - when you're having an anxiety attack, it's hard to remember to pay attention to what your thought processes are...other than "this sucks, I hate this."  So, she told me at that moment I am to focus on self-care - relaxation and breathing exercises, so that I can get to the work part.  Ok, so maybe I had more to say on the subject than I thought.  It's been difficult, but I actually feel pretty wrung out at the end of each session, which is rather gratifying.

Kids are acting goofy here. 
The girl loves here Doctor Who (as do we all.) 
This is her new sonic screwdriver.  It actually
makes a pretty horrid sound.  And the Dalek
t-shirt is her favorite.

My Boy turned 16 this week.  How on earth did we get to this point?  How have we not killed each other yet?  I have no idea, but he enjoyed his birthday celebration.  Iron Man 3 and Mexican food - there really is no better celebration.
Girl Scouts, school projects (so many school projects), job hunting...and, admittedly, having coffee with friends and family, taking niecelets to the park, and enjoying beautiful spring weather are taking their fair share of time.  I spent some time with my sister today, and I got home and blinked, looking around at my house, thinking, "I should probably spend some time cleaning this place."
Ah...and Relay.  Relay For Life is June 7-8, so we are down to the last month, and we are working so hard, trying to make it an excellent event.  Extra meetings, e-mails, phone calls...Relay is taking up more than it's fair amount of brain space lately, but we have less than a month to go.  I look forward to seeing how it all pans out.
So, there we are.  That kind of catches you all up.  I hope you all are enjoying your spring.  Come to Relay June 7-8.  We'll keep you up all night!