Thursday, April 6, 2017


Yup. That's the title, because that is exactly how I feel most of the time lately.

See, I don't even care to take my own pictures.

Admittedly, this is going to be a bit of a whiny post, and I apologize for it. No I don't, because I am warning you, and you don't have to read it, but honestly, I could use the kindness of a few uplifting comments, so read it anyway, please. We're all friends here, and I will totally read if you need to get a few things off your chest. Or we'll go for coffee or something.

Anyway, yeah. I feel like I am constantly running to keep up lately, and I'm not really doing anything. My house is a mess (what else is new,) I cook maybe twice a week, don't even ask the last time I worked out, and my poor sweet bullet journal is looking so lonely and sad without its checkmarks. I can't even blame softball much as we've been rained out so much lately. I just get home and I want to sit and do nothing. Not even read - just veg, watch tv, stare at my phone. And it's a vicious cycle, right? I'm not sleeping well, so I don't work out in the morning, I eat crap all day, then stare at screens, which keeps me from sleeping well...and my moods have been low low low, and the energy I need to break the cycle is just eluding me.

The worst part of all of this? Creative thinking is too taxing. I mean, meal planning...I don't wanna! Trying to come up with food to fix is exhausting me. We're on an endless loop of fajita veggies and rice because I literally don't have the ability to come up with anything else. I don't mean new recipes - I mean, I can't remember the stuff we like to eat, and I don't have the energy to think about it.

I've read a bunch of articles lately about how "motivation" is technically a flawed term, suggesting there is an external force pushing us to do things we need to do, and that we just need to make the decision to do it. Well, here's the thing - I need an external force. Because my internal self is not doing the job.

So many goals, friends, so much to do, and nothing being achieved, because I just can't seem to get my ass off the couch.

In the meantime, this is fun.