Resolutions and One Word

For those of you who read Ali Edward's blog, you get my reference to "one word." For those who don't, it simply means choosing one word that speaks to how you plan to live this year. As the fam and I were traveling to the wide open plains of Central Illinois last week, I mentioned that I was trying to come up with that one word that spoke to my desire to learn and grow, to change myself so completely this year. I mentioned that perhaps it should be "transform" because I hope to be a different person by next year. Studmuffin says, "what if I don't like that person." I explain, I don't want to change my fundamental being, my personality, but there is so much I'd like to learn and change about myself...so he suggests "mutate."
Not a particularly pretty word, "mutate." It provokes images of three-eyed fish and radioactive waste. So I suggest "evolve," a rather soft word, which almost means the same thing. Studmuffin says "mutate" sounds more interesting. And then I think. "Evolve" really refers to change that happens over a long period of time, and is a more passive process. What I want for myself is a mutation - an active, aggressive change of self that I, myself, enact. I want to learn and grow intellectually, spiritually, and creatively, while shrinking physically. I want to balance the reading I do for pleasure with reading for information. I plan to seek out language resources at the library, and actually take steps toward my goal of learning new languages. My friend has offered to teach me to sew, which I look forward to. I want to deepen my meditation practice, and continue to search for my spiritual path. I will cut my spending; being conscious of each dollar we earn and spend. I will exercize, I will eat and move consciously, I will practice my yoga, and treat my body with the respect it deserves so it can give many more years. I will love and play with my children, while teaching them to work hard and love life.
I think I like this word, "mutate." It speaks to what I hope to become; not a different person altogether, but an improved, healthier, and more centered person. A more interesting person, a better parent, a better woman. I look forward to this mutation.