Wednesday, January 9, 2013

That which is keeping me sane.

I have not quite felt myself since the beginning of December.  I'm not sure what's going on - I'm obsessing over things, real and imagined, that I can't really control.  I've been to the doctor and my therapist, and discussed med changes, and talked through my problems.  I'm not having panic attacks, thank goodness, but I am crying more easily than usual, and I wake up each morning a little shaky and nauseous.  This is all rather sucky, so I've implemented some changes over things I can control, and these changes are helping:

1.  Exercise.  There are three reasons I've stepped up the workouts - I lost a lot of weight over the month of December and as my appetite returns, I don't want to gain it all back at once;  the last time I exercised regularly, I never had a panic attack or bout of depression (and there is actual scientific proof that regular exercise helps with depression;) and finally, last time I was at the doctor's office, he said my blood pressure was dangerously high and he put me on blood pressure medication.  I tried to argue that I had been suffering a month-long anxiety attack, and that had to raise my blood pressure, but the "dangerously" part concerned me.  He said if I lose 20 more pounds, he'll look at taking me off the medication.  Here's hoping.

2.  Writing and meditation.  I know these things work, but I don't always do them.  I'm trying to do at least one a day.

3.  My friends.  What amazing friends I have.  So many people willing to listen, to hug, to tell me I'm wonderful.  I'm a very lucky girl.

4.  My mom and my sister.  Same thing here - I can always go to them for support.  And both understand me better than I do.

5.  These girls.  Even when I am feeling my worst, a hug from a twinlet makes me smile. 
Things are looking up a bit - I'm feeling a little clearer, a little sunnier.  Winter is a tough time for those of us dealing with depression - even if your diagnosis isn't seasonal, the dark and cold has an affect.  Find those actions you can take to make yourself feel better - I feel more in control of my own illness when I know what I need to do.  Good luck to us all.


A girl and three boys said...

I'm glad you're getting there <3

Amie said...

Depending on what blood pressure med you're on, that might given you an added anti-anxiety boost...bonus!