Pumpkins!

Yesterday was the day.

An Excellent day for carving pumpkins.

Spooky...guess which one is mine. Yeah, I don't carve any better than the kids.

My brother, on the other hand, carves a wicked jack-o-lantern.

I made these tonight...a little salty, but they smell divine.

I love this time of year!

Uh oh.

Definitely a rambling bit of whatnot here - I feel the need to empty out the rubbish bins in my brain - so watch out for banana peels.

I was perusing a bit over at MagpieGirl today. I haven't been there in awhile, so I was reading back pretty far, allowing myself a little blog OD, if you will. She posted an "8things" post in September about "Warning Signs that I am Not Standing in My Own Power" that really resonated with me - essentially because I get those "warning signs" myself. When I am becoming too focused on one part of my life, to the detriment to the rest, I have my own "warning signs" that I am teetering on the edge of a sort of personal "engine failure." Maybe I'm just a bit nuts (nobody is disputing that,) but maybe some of these may sound familiar:

1. I become obsessive - maybe it's blabbing on and on about dietary habits or money or some personal quirk that annoys me - I can't think about anything else clearly which leads to:
2. A distinct sense of "muddled-ness." All forms of intelligent speech leave, I can't write. I honestly cannot see my path clearly. Important tasks get thrown by the wayside because I. Don't. Remember. These are the big gaps during which I do not, cannot blog.
3. A seriously pissy mood. I hate that my brother and husband call me pissy - rhymes with Missy, bad childhood memories. But that is exactly how I feel. When I catch myself snapping at my kids, constantly, that is a blatant sign that I am neglecting some important part of myself.
4. Apathy - "I don't care" "whatever".
5. Constant state of anxiety - my chest feels heavy, I can't get enough oxygen. More exhaustion than normal.

This has been happening lately, more than it should. I keep meaning to map out a routine, some way to not only complete all the tasks I need to complete in a day to keep things running smoothly, but also to compartmentalize the various volunteer tasks into an hour or two a week, fit in family time, and also a little time to work out and read. In addition, I've been neglecting two very important parts of my psyche - my creative self and my spiritual self. I feel these are the two parts of Me that have been throwing me off so much lately - I have made some things for my sister's wedding and for work, but I haven't taken any time to be creative for my sake - my camera remains nestled and unused in it's case, my desk is a mess and just keeps collecting dusty piles. I haven't done any yoga or meditation in so long I've forgotten what it means to "quiet my mind", and forget about God. Haven't given that search a passing thought in more than a year. But my spirituality has always been so important to me, even in the unformed, lump of clay-like state that it has been in these past few years.

I have to wonder, why am I having so much trouble organizing my time and mind-space? Most people work outside the home and manage to live their lives without going crazy. I don't expect I'm going to find "balance" perse - that is, I think, an overrated concept. I imagine certain times certain different aspects of my life will thrive at the expense of others. I guess I'm just looking for ways to "de-muddle" my brain. I'm definitely open to suggestions...

I've been skipping around a bit today and have found some lovely things to share:

1. This room. I would love to have a room like this, for our family to read and create and play. It's so bright and cheerful and full of books. Of course, only two of us actually seem to have any desire to create, but reading is something we can all share. Anyway, very lovely, and it makes me happy.

2. I would like very much to change out my living room a bit - not a ton, (although I crave a new couch,) but I would like to move the shelving unit I keep my books and things on up to my bedroom, and put a desk and two bookshelves against that wall. Giving myself and the kids another space to work, and to clear the mail and volunteer stuff off the kitchen table. I love these, but I also have looked at Target and found coordinating desk and shelves that are really lovely. This is the desk, and the shelves go with, and they are the right size - really love. With all the additional volunteer work I do, plus the kid's school and sports and activity stuff...it would be good to have a place to organize everything. Mayhaps gift cards will be accumulated for Christmas...

3. The Girl's birthday is coming up. She asked for books, clothes, a peacock or peachick, and an I-Pad. I have no freaking idea what I'm going to get her, but peacocks are really noisy; I'm pretty sure there is some kind of law prohibiting owning one. And the I-Pad just made me laugh.

4. Love this!
5. Probably time to get the Halloween stuff out.

Because I need to post so I can keep on posting...

Things I did today:




1. Ate way too much for lunch and felt crappy and full after.


2. Read some more of The Historian.


3. Wrote my thank you note following yesterday's interview - crossing my fingers, folks.


4. Answered a lot of calls, helped a few patients, cleaned up a database, wrote some letters, completed some volunteer tasks, entered a few tshirt orders, answered questions about the upcoming Making Strides walk (October 17 at Yeatman's Cove, folks.)


5. Took a wicked Zumba class and shook my groove thang.

I took this pic a while ago, but owls are cool, so I'm sharing. Also, I left my camera at A's house following my sister's bridal shower, so I can share anything new. And the shower went well, thanks for asking...