11 years ago today...

The world was made a little bit better by this guy...

Happy birthday to my favorite Monkeybutt!

A Little More Myself

So I'm starting to feel a little better. I have been sleeping - so very important. I'm still waking up shaky and uncomfortable, but each day gets a little easier. I've realized, though, I do not want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the meds to stop working. I'm going to look into seeing "someone" - you know, a (whisper) psychiatrist. Figure out what is going on up there. I'm also starting yoga classes this week, and I'm going to learn to meditate.
But for tonight, when I'm feeling not so bad, and needing to get to bed - I'm simply going to post a small list for your reading enjoyment. These are the things I am grateful for tonight. Because a little gratitude never hurt anyone...and can only make me sleep better.
I am grateful for:

1. My son, who will play endless games of Yahtzee with me when that seems to be the only thing making me feel better.
2. My daughter's hugs - ever plentiful.
3. This gorgeous state I live in. Have I mentioned how much I love it here?
4. My husband - who continues to love me no matter how crazy I act.
5. The amazing friends I have made here - every one of them will allow me to sob on their shoulder or babble incessantly about my state of mind.
6. My mom. For everything she is. And that is worth an entire post on its own, to come later.

Ok, so this has been an unusually sappy post, but I can't help it. That's just me tonight. G'nite sweet readers. I am grateful for all of you.

Update

I saw the doctor yesterday. I told him my meds seemed to have stopped working and he just nodded and said, "yeah, they'll do that." Lovely. So he prescribed a new one - I started the first one this morning. I'm praying that they will kick in quickly.

help

I can't sleep.
Sunday I started getting a little shaky. Not too bad, just a little shaky and nervous. The next day I woke up a bit early, spent the morning shaky and anxious, felt a little better by afternoon. Each day has gotten a bit worse. Yesterday I spent the day going between anxiety attack and sobbing fit. Today I woke up at 1:30AM - and I can't get back to sleep.
Many of you know I've been on antidepressants for 5 years. I was very lucky - the first one I tried worked for me. I've felt normal - with only 2 setbacks, for 5 years. I know how lucky I've been, I've never taken it for granted. So why, all of a sudden, does it feel like I'm not on anything at all. Why do I feel like I'm going slowly and uncomfortably crazy?
I don't mean to make it sound like I'm the only person to ever suffer this crap, but if you have anxiety issues, then you understand - it makes you very self-focused. All I think about is the fact that I can't calm down, my stomach feels a constant dropping and nausea (and hunger, since I can't seem to eat), and I'm absolutely miserable.
I have made a doctor's appointment for later today. I'm hoping he can do something for this. Wish me luck, please.

More Easter pics...

I'm not entirely sure why this won't let me move these around, but here are more Easter pics. My gorgeous nephew, his scrumptious brother, and their way too hot to handle mother. The mother, by the way, brought these confetti eggs over, which is what Monkeybutt is breaking over her head. Oh, and the other two hotties are my mother and little brother. And the girl in the pic with nephew's big bro and Girlchild is my little sister. We had a fun Easter.

By the by, my feet are no longer quite so freezing.

Blemish

and by the way, I have this huge honkin' zit on my chin. The kind that starts out as a painful lump under the skin, and then you keep picking at it, even while you're asleep, and now it's a big nasty sore on my chin. And totally obvious, and purple and ugly. I'd take a picture, but even I'm not that weird. Eww.

Easter pics

My dear friend Donna reminded me that I never did post Easter pics. So, for your viewing pleasure I've included pictures of both kids egg huntin', a picture of Monkeybutt with an egg (we actually colored eggs this year. My friends, I had never, before this year, colored eggs with my kids. Have I mentioned MB's almost 11?), and a picture of Easter kitteh...