Thursday, August 2, 2012

Dude, seriously? Where did the summer go?

It's time for a good babbly post 'cuz it's really freaking late and I can't sleep, and it's been, like, 3 weeks since I last posted. 

Check out my cutie girl in her new glasses.  She was complaining last month about her head hurting.  Unfortunately, it's hard to tell with her, since she kind of complains all the time.  But they were both due for eye appointments.  The Girl definitely needed glasses - she's near-sighted.  The Boy is a lopsided goofball, as we all know.  The doctor says, "I have good news and bad news" which is an odd thing to hear from an eye doctor, but it turns out he is near-sighted in one eye, and is compensating with the other.  I tried to convince them that he would look awesome in a monocle.  Apparently they "don't do that anymore."  Pfft.  If anyone could pull off the monocle, my boy could.  A real distinguished sort, is my Boy.  I really had trouble typing that with a straight face.

I spent the last couple of weeks watching my nieces and nephews whilst their parents were in Hawaii.  Honestly, I would rather have gone to Hawaii, but we had some fun.  Check out these apres-bath hairdos.  Fabulous!

It's kind of a funny thing, the girl with the anxiety disorder offering to take on four extra kids.  I had a few anxiety attacks the first few days - it's been a long time since I've had a baby, and here I had two.  One of whom appears to talk and whimper in her sleep, loudly, and the monitor picks up every sound, and I would lie awake at night listening to every peep, wondering she was going to start crying, and then after 5 hours of very interrupted sleep, I would wake up shaking and sick.  But that eased up very quickly, especially after I realized I didn't have to have the monitor at full volume all night.  And we did just fine.  So I talked to my therapist on Tuesday, and she suggests I seem to be doing much better - dealing with stress better.  I told her about the anxiety two weeks ago and she mentioned most people would feel some extra stress with four extra kids.  I felt - still feel - apprehensive, saying I'm doing better.  I mean, I went several years with very little in the way of symptoms - how do I know I'm doing better?  What if we cut down on our sessions (which it makes sense to do - I spend a lot of time lately just chatting about my day with her right now, which I could do with friends for free) and I start having panic attacks again?  And she says - get this - "you call me and make another appointment."  What is this logic?  You mean, there is no regimented course of treatment?  If I need more, I schedule more? 

I guess that's pretty irrational, not understanding that right away - I guess it just seems so...un-medical.  When I have bronchitis, I go on an antibiotic (my bronchitis is almost always bacterial, I am not just pushing for meds) for a regimented amount of time and it goes away.  I guess I kind of wish my brain was like that - I have a very hard time answering the therapist's question, "what am I hoping to get out of this?"  I don't know, I want to feel better.  So give me a pill, some exercises, and a prescribed number of sessions, and bill me. 

Wouldn't it be easier if it worked that way?

On the other hand, I am gratified to learn that my therapist is not just out for my cash.  She is the one who suggested I don't need to pay someone to listen to me tell her I'm feeling pretty good, thanks, and you?

Alright, it's late and I should have been asleep a long time ago.  I'll have to do another book post soon - I've been reading a lot this summer, and I hit my goal of 60 books in 2012 almost a month ago.  Probably should update that one. 

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