Day 8

Monday is just about over, and that's a good thing. I overdid the snacking today. Had my shakes and a healthy dinner, but I really need to stick to the proper exchanges, especially for starches and fruit, which tend to be what I snack on. I belong to a subgroup on Nerd Fitness for accountability, and each week we set goals and update each day. I belong to a lot of accountability groups, but nothing helps me quite like this does (and my daily texts from my friends, and we'll address that in a minute.) Anyway, I posted to that group for the first time in a while, and here's what I posted:

1. 1. Work on checking in with my body for hunger before eating, as I've snacked more than I should out of boredom. To accomplish this, I will prepackage and pack specific snacks for the day. Having a whole bag of Skinnypop at work means I just eat out of it, so I will have to be more deliberate.
2. 2. Drink my shakes - 2 a day
3. 3. Be more deliberate with my one meal; measuring the protein and starch. To accomplish this, I will need to meal prep, which I did not do yesterday - I leave work early today, so I'll do some prep tonight.

I did leave work early today for an appointment, and then I went to the gym, and then I went to Costco, and THEN I came home and made two mason jar salads with the appropriate exchanges for dinner for the next two nights. Tomorrow night I have a nutrition class at the hospital, so I will be seriously hungry when I get home. Having the salad ready to just pour out will definitely help. I love mason jar salads.

I planned out my workouts for this week, and today I did go to the gym. When I was done, I made an appointment for next week with the trainer there. I have been relying on various online workouts, but it would be nice to have something just for me. Also, I pay for this membership, I may as well take advantage of the perks. Tomorrow's plan is to wake up early and walk.

Let's talk friends. I mentioned I have a few friends who have been texting me a lot over the last week or so to check in and encourage. I have amazing friends, and I am truly lucky. I have been subscribing to Tiny Buddha for the past several years, so I get their daily emails. Sometimes they have little to do with me and I just skim them, sometimes they are interesting, and sometimes they are just so appropriate and true to me. Today's addressed friendship, and how to maintain strong friendships. She talks about how we have different kinds of friends, that friendship doesn't have to fit some sit-com model, we don't always have to agree to maintain a friendship, etc. She talks about setting boundaries, as well...really, you should read the article, it was very good. Anyway, I would like to go another step, and discuss the fact that making friends is a skill, like playing an instrument. And maybe some people have an innate talent, making it easy for them to make friends throughout their lives, but I think if they don't practice that skill, it will fade, or become less accessible for them. And for the rest of us, we have to really work at it, practice and as we get older, it becomes easier, and we better understand the right types of friendships that work for us, and we continue to practice...

this is absolutely true for me. From the time I was a preteen on, making friends was very hard for me. Which was a bit heart-breaking, because as we all know, I am a very social person. But I had this idea of what friendship looked like, and I worked really hard to make friends, to the point that even I found myself annoying. I had good friends, but I often felt very alone. Maybe because I thought friends always wanted to be together, or maybe just because I felt awkward. In my 20's I was dreadfully lonely, even though I had my family, and my husband, and a few people I spent time with, but I truly did not know how to get myself out there. When we moved here, there was no family, no family friends to depend upon, and I had to really step out of that comfort zone. I am not a person who can tolerate long periods of alone. Any of my IRL friends who have been around me when my panic attacks are bad know, my way of dealing is putting myself among people who care. I crave other people. Even when my kids were in school, I would go to MOMS Club events and hold other people's babies, just so I could be around other people when my anxiety was bad. It helped, and some of those connections I made in MOMS Club have remained my closest friends. And I've moved on from there. As I have gotten older, it has gotten easier to talk to people, to start conversations, and just put myself out there as someone who is open to friendship. I no longer feel awkward about being social, or maybe I just embrace that awkwardness; all I know is, I've made amazing connections with people - through clubs, through other people, through the freaking internet - it's fantastic how people I didn't really know well in high school, or they didn't know nerdy little me - how some of these people have become some of my favorites as we've become adults and recognized how very interesting and fabulous they are.

Some of the beautiful friends I've made over the years have become my own personal cheerleaders, and they text me morning greetings, motivation, precious pics of their babies and cats, or bizarre plats of survey for me to puzzle over during my peak snacking times. They have restarted exercise challenges, so I'm planking at work again. Work is always more fun when you take a plank break, and the carpet in my new office is clean enough I'm not disgusted to get down on it. They are reading and responding, and being their awesome selves, and I am a very lucky ducky indeed.

Now that I have gushed, I must find a precious friend meme, and then go up for a little ferret playtime and bed. I have to be up early, after all...

Yup. Perfect.

Good night, friends. Seriously, check out Tiny Buddha.