Friday is weigh in day

I know. You're wondering about this picture. Because you would really like this underwear.

I'm down 4.8 lbs. from last weigh in, 1 lb from last week. I went to boot camp M-Th this week, and I am sore. Very, hover, saying owowowowow, then drop onto the toilet, like sore. Did not drink any pop this week. Would probably have dropped more than 1 lb, if I had managed to freaking keep my calories in check.

I log every bite I take - all of it. The two days I stayed within 100 calories of my allotted number, I was STARVING! Which tells me a couple of things:

1. I have some serious portion distortion, and I'm so used to eating big portions, that my body thinks it needs more than it does.
2. I may be one of those people who needs to eat small amounts every couple of hours instead of 3 meals.
3. I need to pay better attention to my nutrients and spread my protein out so I have some at every meal.

Okay, so I will take these things into consideration this week while I plan.

By the way, favorite snack for this week - I roasted a bunch of cauliflower, broccoli, and brussel sprouts and took a cup of them to work every day. I eat them cold, and they are delightful. The do not smell delightful, but they tasted fantastic.

In other news, I took my firstborn to college today. He lives on the 7th floor - if moving him in wasn't a workout, nothing is. All these kids had tubs and suitcases and carts full of stuff, and my kid had a duffel bag, a tub, two backpacks, and a few grocery bags. Oh, and his hamper with his bedding. Hopefully he didn't underpack. Anyway, I'm excited for him - I truly hope he is happy there. My boy is not exactly an outgoing, friendly, joiner kind of guy - I told him not to let his tendency to be annoyed by everything get in the way of his enjoyment.
Send him happy thoughts, please.
I spent the later part of the afternoon cleaning bathrooms, mopping, organizing stuff, cleaning cat boxes. I am going to spend these last few minutes of quiet (volleyball game) with my book (Storm of Swords, 3rd Game of Thrones book.)

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day

I've woken up at 4:24AM and gone to 5AM boot camp the last two days. It's been way humid, even at 5AM, so they have been good, sweaty workouts. Anyway, I get home around 6:15, hop in the shower, get ready, make coffee and lunch, and I really don't have time to sit down for breakfast, but dude, I've been up for 2 hours and I am starving. Nothing quite like a smoothie for commute-friendly meal. I've been trying my darndest to make them green - an extra serving of veggies, and green is my favorite color, after all.

My messy desk - don't judge me.

This is Just Peachy Green Smoothie With Chia Seeds from Organize Yourself Skinny. So far it is my favorite of the green smoothies.
Some changes - I use spinach instead of kale in all my smoothies. The taste is a bit milder, and I like keeping spinach on hand, anyway. I used almond milk this time instead of coconut milk, because that is what I had on hand. I prefer the coconut milk, though, so I'll have to pick some up next time I'm at the store. Really not loving the almond milk. A bit of cinnamon is a nice addition to this one.

Updates of the healthy kind...

Oh my gosh, you guys! Check out this haul! Why Missy, where on earth did you get all of this cool stuff? Well, my friends, one of my favorite health and fitness websites, Fit Bottomed Girls, changed their look recently. I love the website, but it was slow to load, and a little busy. Their new look is much cleaner, and loads more quickly. I shared my opinion on their Facebook page, and I was picked to receive a prize package. They asked me to email them with workouts I enjoy or want to try and any allergies I might have. I said I love surprises, so they sent me a big surprise pack - several workout DVD's (including a yoga DVD I've wanted to try,) a few different books, jump rope, some teas, Guroo Sleeves for arm balances, a scarf, tattoos, coffee...I really do love surprises. It was like a big box of presents.

Let's chat a bit about how the healthy habits are coming.
Last week (first week of August), I did really well. Went to boot camp 3 times, added a few walks, tracked all my food, made good choices, no pop. This past week was not so good. I had to work early, husband went out of town, lots of running. Big difference between the two weeks? Planning. I planned for the first week, did not plan for the second. Went to bed too late, ate dinner on the fly.
I did, however, track every unhealthy bite. So that is a step in the right direction.
I also did lose a pound, but I keep forgetting to bring my camera in for the weigh ins. I will add it to my list for this week.

Plans for this week:

1.  Boot camp, every day. This is not my long term plan, but I need to get back in the habit of waking up for the 5AM class, and I find it is easier to form the habit when I do it every day for a few weeks.
2.  Plan my meals for the week. I will do this tomorrow.
3.  Continue to track all the food and drink all the water.
4.  No pop.
5.  Weigh in on Friday - bring the camera!

Ooh, we tried a new (to me) restaurant tonight. It is called Sea, and it is a sushi/Japanese restaurant, opened in an old Dunkin' Donuts building. It was quite lovely, and the food is really good. Two of the best restaurants (in my opinion) in Northern Kentucky are in old fast food/donut places. Mai Thai (for those not from here) is an old Long John Silvers. If you enjoy sushi or other Japanese food, I highly recommend Sea. My own dislike of sushi is a disappointment to me - I really want to like it, but I just don't. I also don't like sweet potato fries. I tried. My palate is just not metropolitan enough for sushi and sweet potato fries. It is a sad thing.

On that tragic note, I need to get to bed. Sunday is mowing day.

Currently...

I have a ton of health stuff to catch up on here, but I wanted to check in, and I enjoy a good list meme from time to time. This one is based on scrapbook journaling prompts.

Currently...

Watching:  a SciFi channel show called Defiance. Post-alien invasion, terraformed earth and it's inhabitants learn to survive in their new world. I just finished watching season 2.

Reading:  "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro.  I don't have much to share about it yet, but I am enjoying it. It is very different than you'd think by the title.

Listening: Right this minute, a YouTube video by GentleWhispering, which I find terribly relaxing. In the car, audio book "The Liar" by Nora Roberts. And, when I'm in the mood for music I've been listening to Arctic Monkeys or a CD I found in my brother's stuff of MP3's from the late '90s. I love finding these mix CDs after many years - I forget what's on them, and it's like a surprise every new song. I am easily amused.

Making:  Not much, lately. It's pretty sad, I haven't done anything creative in a long time.

Feeling:  Disorganized and a little overwhelmed. This past week my life has consisted of running the Girl from place to place and dealing with craziness at work. Add in the fact that my son is going to college next week, and we are not prepared, and I am feeling I am in way over my head.

Planning: My workouts and meals for the next week. I did not do this last week, and my eating habits were crap.

Loving:  My bullet journal. Oh yes, I have totally jumped on the bandwagon and started a bullet journal in place of my old planner. I have been using it for over a month now, and I really like it. The night before, I check my next day, add any tasks I need to add, plus jot down any quotes I heard, new words, notes, etc. If you are intrigued, check out Pinterest - there are pages and pages of posts on bullet journaling.

Enjoying: The weather lately. It has been warm, not hot, and lovely.

This weekend is looking nutty - tomorrow morning, I am going to my boot camp open house, then the Girl's volleyball tournament. If they play as well as they did this evening, they will be playing until tomorrow night. Sunday I have to catch up on some chores around the house, and softball tryouts for the Girl. Busy busy busy...

Babbling mindlessly about the movies and music of my youth...

Hey there, ho there. I really need to go to bed, but I was just typing a Facebook update, and it was getting really long, and really became a blog post all by itself,so I decided to just come here. 

Today I have traveled back in time. My commute was spent rocking out to the music of my youth. How much did I love the soundtrack to the movie "Singles." Ok, except for the Paul Westerberg songs, which were lame, and the horrid cover of Led Zeppelin's "Battle of Evermore." That movie sparked my love for Alice in Chains, and I could listen to Pearl Jam's "State of Love and Trust" on an everlasting loop.

"Singles" was one of those movies I watched 100 times and never got bored. I wanted, desperately, to be Kyra Sedgwick, but I really identified more with Debbie, the bizarre redhead who babbled incessantly. Or maybe with Campbell Scott's best friend. Yeah, I was definitely Campbell Scott's best friend. Anyway, I loved that movie, but I never did get to Seattle, I never got to see Alice in Chains play live in some smoky dive club in an abandoned warehouse (or anywhere else, for that matter), and I certainly never wanted to find the "perfect combination of Mel Gibson and Holden Caulfield" because, let's face it, they are both big tools.

Know what other movie I loved when I was in college? "Dazed and Confused." Dude, did you see that movie? How many popular actors got their start with that movie? Jason London as Randall "Pink" Floyd taking a stand against "the man" because he doesn't want to sign a form promising not to smoke marijuana - wasn't marijuana illegal in the '70's? Even as an idealistic college student, I found his rant to be juvenile. Anyway, he was just the straight man to all everyone else - Matthew McConoughy's creepy older guy character was classic in that movie. Another excellent soundtrack.

I have lots of good healthy stuff to share, but I need to go to bed if I'm to get up for boot camp. My kids are watching "Return of the Jedi" right now. Can you imagine how bad Jabba's palace must have smelled?

Brain dump on the subject of an "All Talk, No Game" post I read on a blog today...

I've been reading a new blog, http://ronisweigh.com/. Roni is the woman who started Blog to Lose and Fitbloggin'; she started her blog to keep her accountable, has inspired many to do the same, including me. I read one of her posts today, and so related to it, I had to sit down and write about this right now.

Are You All Talk, No Game?

Yikes. Is that so me, or what? How often do I get on here and say, "this is what I'm going to do." And this doesn't only relate to my health, although that has been a primary focus for me lately. It makes my husband, who is most certainly a doer (if it's something he really wants to do,) crazy. He will decide he really wants something, he will gather all available information, somehow keep it all straight in his head, and make a sound decision, make a plan, and follow through. Not me. I said I wanted to take a vacation this year. We haven't taken a real vacation (one that didn't involve staying at a relative's house) in 7 years. I felt our kids deserved a trip, and so did I. My daughter suggested Maine, and I loved the idea - it is a place I have always wanted to visit. I took the time off work, and got excited about going to Maine. But, and here's the kicker, I never actually planned anything. I knew what I wanted to do, but I never really took the time to make any concrete plans or book anything. I blamed it on my husband and kids, and they do hold some of the blame, as none of them gave me any freaking ideas for what they wanted to do, and it's not like they are small children, having to go along with everything we do. But it really all comes down to me. So, now I am missing out on hiking Acadia National Park, a place I have dreamed of visiting, because I never did what needed doing.

Sigh. Isn't that beautiful? Someday, my love.

What I loved reading, though, were the comments. Which is interesting, because you know usually the comments are the worst part of an interesting article. But these were interesting. Some were just like her - doers. They decided they were going to do something, and they made a plan, and they did it. But others were talkers, dreamers, and they had some interesting thoughts on why. And it didn't feel like these were just excuses, either. Some suggested that some who are just talking and not doing are just not ready. I understand that, change is hard, and it is comfortable to just stay the same course. Large changes, like a major weight loss, take a serious commitment, a good, solid plan, and steady follow-through. A related comment suggested the concept of the subconscious mind sabotaging the conscious mind. "They say then want to lose weight, but then they turn around and binge on all the food they are not suppose to be eating….. why do they do this? They do it because there is a subconscious part of them that is more comfortable with being fat." The problem with this, however, is that you can't just focus on your health when you are "ready" or when your "subconscious mind agrees with your conscious mind." There is too much at risk. I've been obese for almost 20 years. Each of these years has increased my risk for diabetes, heart disease, a whole buttful of different cancers, not to mention major stress on my joints and injuries. Then, there are the wasted years. 20 years of not being active, being able to do things I really would like to do, but I'm held back by my own physical limitations, or my perception of my own limitations. 20 years of feeling "less than" because of my size. Unfortunately, low self-esteem is not necessarily going to change with weight loss, but it can't hurt. 

Another commenter suggested that distraction keeps her from achieving her goals. This feels a little closer to my situation. I have a heck of a time focusing. Which seems funny, seeing as health changes are not exactly small work. I've worked with children with ADD in the school district, helping them to stay on task and complete their work. When I think of people having trouble focusing, that is what comes to mind. But consider - so much goes in to a healthy lifestyle. It can be overwhelming. And I am very good at buckling down for 6 hours or so - working out, packing my lunch, drinking my water, and then - ooh, something shiny! - and I am drinking a soda while chatting with a friend. Or my weekend fills up with a thousand things, and I don't take the time to plan for meals, and we go out to eat, which leads to bigger portions, which leads to shame, which leads to me not logging my meals, etc. And who wants to go to boot camp in the morning with the lump of City BBQ in their stomach. It spirals out of control, and you stop focusing on any of it for a few weeks, until you blog again, and then you recommit, and then you stop at the Speedway on your way in to work for a 44 oz Pepsi because you woke up at 4:30AM after not going to sleep until 10PM, and you are trying to keep your eyes open on your way to work.

Phew, you didn't know you were settling in for the long haul through my brain today, did you?

This week has been complicated. My son will be going off to college in a few weeks, and we have not finished dealing with all the financials. My husband is frustrated with my inaction on this, "why haven't you gathered all the information?" "Why start the conversation when you don't have all the information?" "The Boy should be taking care of this, why haven't you made sure he did it?" But. There is so much information out there, and I honestly wasn't sure where to start. I didn't even know who to ask. It's complicated, and scary, and I've always coddled my kid too much, and I'm afraid to make mistakes, and I'm afraid to put him in a place to make a mistake that might make things horrible for school, and...holy crap, I'm overwhelmed, and so - inaction. 

Which is, I think, the key to all of this. My "all talk, no game" problem. I become don't know where to start, I'm overwhelmed, I freak out, I become paralyzed. My way to deal with that is to talk through it...which is how we end up here - at my blog - all talk. 

So, here is where we are for this week's health goals - I've been stressing, not sleeping well, eating crap, drinking pop. I have, however, been logging the crap. I've also been to boot camp once, and I'll go on Friday and Saturday. I've been drinking a ton of water, although I have not hit the gallon mark every day, but I've been close. I have "technically" been completing my action steps for each day. I will weigh in tomorrow, although I am not expecting great results. I will take the picture, though, own the weight, and move on, working on better habits for the next week. 

I appreciate having the ability to unload here. It helps clear my mind. 

Are you a talker or a doer? Do you have any advice for those of us who have trouble following through (besides "just do it", Nike already said that.) Do you want to pay the balance on my son's education? 

Back to the grind

I've decided to really make an effort to add more of a weight loss/healthy living aspect to this blog, mainly to keep myself accountable, and, if there are some here who are looking for a buddy on their own journey, or who have good advice to give, etc (please, no sales, gimmicks, unproven tricks, silly tips you've picked up from the hack at the mall, etc. I'm not buying your stuff, so don't try to sell it here. I will eat fruit after 2PM, I am not dropping all carbs, I don't want your pills or vitamins or wraps, and neither do my readers.) Whew. Can you tell I get a little bitter about these things? It bothers me, so much. I read a lot of very good blogs about healthy living, and there are always commenters looking to sell their stuff. A lot of us who have been working on improving our health for a long time have read ALL OF THE books, research, magazines, etc. We know the difference between the science and the pseudoscience, and we don't want you plugging your wares or your "vague medical-sounding person has proven" techniques on our blogs. Start your own freaking blog, if you want to sell your stuff.
That said, if you have something real to say, please contribute. You tried a new way of journaling, a great new workout, a yummy, healthy snack? Suggest away!
Heh. You like how I am writing this like I have hundreds of thousands of readers? I like to pretend I am very popular.
Anyway - I'll still post my goofy little stories and thoughts, and I will never stop talking about books, but I want to focus so much more on my health. I was driving the other day (to Crossville, TN, home of the ISA World Series of Softball, Go Bandits!), and as I drove I had a thought, as I so often do when I drive.

I had been reading a blog post on time management by a woman who had 3 kids, ran two businesses from home, served on several different committees, took a class, wrote a blog, and played on a women's football team. This is a woman whose color-coded FiloFax uses ALL of the colors. Anyway, I was reading this entry and thinking, I used to have such a busy life. PTA, Relay For Life, MOMS Club, volunteering in the classrooms, team mom, making dinners for new moms, Girl Scout leader, driving the kids to every activity...and now? I work, a few book clubs, the Girl's sports. My guilty subconscious mind is telling me I should add a few more committees to the list, but I will continue ignoring that, and really buckle down and focus on my health. And you lucky duckies, should you choose to read these posts, get to come along for the ride.

You like this? The hills of southern Kentucky. Why upside down? I have no freaking idea - I can't seem to flip it.

But, Missy! You've said all of this before, for crying out loud.
I know. And I will probably sabotage myself again. But...ooh, and here's the kicker...I'm putting it all out there this time. I weighed myself, and took a picture, and I am posting it here for all to see. My starting weight for all intents and purposes.

Yow. That is scarily close to my highest weight of all time - the weight I promised I would never see again. You see why I am a little freaked out? Putting this out there in public, and I will weigh in again next week, and every week from now on, because for some weird reason, I think this might help. I will also talk about my boot camp and workouts and food plans and everything else I'm working on. I will be using My Fitness Pal to track my food intake, because you all know food that piece of the puzzle I just keep turning the wrong way. I get it almost angled correctly, and then I turn it just a quarter cm the other direction...and this analogy is taking off in my head, let's move on.

A month or so ago, I posted a list of "picture a day" ideas, and day 1 was goals. You've seen these goals before, but I may as well start with something that works. So my goals for the rest of July are (I'm just typing these in, but I did write them in my journal and everything):

1. Exercise (moving on purpose), at least 3 times a week

2. Gallon of water, every day

3. Track all food in My Fitness Pal

Ooh, how pretty. I'll track it all in my journal so you all can see I'm really, truly, following through. 

I have actually been to boot camp, twice this week. I've been drinking my water. Have not been tracking the food. Tomorrow morning, it is on.

In other news, there is a family of mourning doves outside my office - two adults and two babies. Did you know mourning doves will often return to the same nesting site more than once a year to lay eggs? And the male sits the nest during the day and the female during the night. You knew you would learn something here, didn't you?

Okay, onward and forward.  Thank you so much, to all of you who commented so sweetly to my post about my Eddy. My kids are on me about getting another cat already, and I will, as I am not a one cat girl, and my one cat does not like being lonely. Not yet, I'm still grieving, but soon. Prepare yourselves for new kitty pictures - they will be coming, and they will be precious.